Whoa! Been a long while since I last logged in and posted a vlog entry and a deviation!
I just spent the last hour reading my previous journal entries. Most of them made me laugh
and a few ones made me remember "who I really am." *sob sob* BLOGGING ISN'T USELESS
AT ALL!!! Take that, !@#$%^&*!!! )

Dear Ladies and Gents~ I'd like to officially announce that I have become a "full-fledged" adult.
My past entries contained my rants about being a college student enrolled in a nursing school and
how difficult it is. Now, I won't do that anymore. They finally kicked me out after four long years...
In other words, I graduated. o_o Scary, I know... J/K

Oh! It's not just me! Fellow deviants and friends Aruki/Kirsche-chan and Lizzie also graduated this year~
(We went to the same school. OMG past tense! XD) Even if we're sick and tired of it, CONGRATULATIONS~!!!
We effing survived *bleepbleepbleepbleep!!!* (Name of our school. ._. ) Not just that~ We also passed the
Nursing Licensure Exams~ OMG WE'RE LICENSED NURSES! We can now kill people because we have our
frikking license-errr.... I mean, love and care for the sick because we took our oath last month. (Daw... *ebiil*)

We finally achieved that magic paper and card as "proof" of our "place in society." Woot...

Enough of that, time to move on to more important things.

It's been about a third of a year that I've been doing nothing. I tried to work on our joint manga (the project
SealZone and I started 3 years ago) and I think I made some progress. (Please check it out. All
of my latests deviations are there. ) As much as I'd love to finish it, I don't think that
it's time. Since my partner is busy, no manga updates will be posted for a while. Best I can do is finish the story
and do the character reference sketches. All of my time now is devoted to my current solo projects: Project
CENDRILLON and Project CRYSTAL SANCTUARY.

Project CENDRILLON (Cendrillon is french for "Cinderella.") is a collection of sketches of the "Rainbow Vocaloids"
that I customized for my friends and myself. I've retained the names of the characters and the colors they represent.
The sketches range from manga and chibi style but I'll also use other drawing styles. Since I'm still learning how to
color using Adobe PS, I'd be posting the sketches in a few months. Hey, I'm in no hurry to finish this. (Is that a good
thing or a bad thing? *sweat*) For now, I'm mainly focusing on this. (I'm also posting this on my FB account for
friends and family members to see. "Disturbing" sketches will only be uploaded here or else I'd be coerced to attend
sessions with a psychiatrist. >.> )

PROJECT CRYSTAL SANCTUARY is a collection of short stories I made based on life significant experiences my friends
and I went through in the guise of fictional settings known as "rooms." Colors play a great role as I do not state names
but instead colors to represent the characters like "Pink Girl" and "Blue Boy." Each "color" is looking for the "Crystal
Sanctuary," a promised utopia where all the colors of the rainbow meet. Eventually, when I finish all the colors of
rainbow, I'll turn it into a book and publish it. So far I have finished one chapter (Chapter Pink "The Other Side of the
Mirror") and started two other chapters (Chapter Blue "Standing in the Rain and Drowning in the Sea of Blue" and
Chapter Pink Second Shade "Towards the Crystal Sanctuary"). Mostly, I've received positive comments from people
who read my work and will continue despite harsh criticism from *Bleepbleep!!!* These aren't posted anywhere on the
net. I don't think I will... for now.

...Yeah. This will probably take years to complete. But! I do hope you guys will look forward to it! XD

I'm off to find a job! See ya later~! XD

Next: Angsts of a young adult thrust into the reality of working in the Real World. (What? My service s*cks!? I'll Break your Face!!!)

Just kidding! ;3

...Whoa. It's been more than a year since I last posted here. Cool... Well, to be honest, I haven't really been drawing. I can't blame school though. I blame laziness. (heehee) Just kidding. All I have are doodles I sketched in my notebooks, books, photocopies of lecture handouts, tissues, and receipts. Heh~ I'll post some (eventually) if I find them. (My room is a frikkin jungle! Ria~ Come help me clean! Bring a shovel. I haven't seen my floor for months! *exaj*)

What I HAVE been "using" my extra time on is this: PLAYING PERSONA 3 FES!!! WOOOTTTTT!!!!!!! ITS TEH BESTEST GAME IN TEH WORLD!!! *does a little happy dance*

...........

*full split*

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goddammit!!! Ripped my fave shorts!!! >.< *changes*


Since I have no idea on a meaningful journal topic, I'll just rant on about my obssession of P3 (Persona 3). To start off, I'll post one of my friend's text messages:

"Yeah. I know how OBSSESSIVE you can get with persona. Heck, if you could marry the protagonist, I bet you would. Joke." - Jed the Jeddy Bear's text message.

Hmm... Well, Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 is one of the spin-offs of the Shin Megami Tensei series. Unlike The SMT series where you recruit demons/monsters, the protagonists are highschool students who weild melee weapons (for physical atks) and summon personas: another side of themselves (for magic attacks).

Oh~ I've only played Persona 2: Eternal Punishment, Persona 3, and Persona 3 FES. Oh and I blame Jed for starting this obssession. *pouts*

Enwei, you control a silent protagonist which you name (His name in the official manga is Minato Arisato. He's a 2nd year highschool kid with an emo hairstyle. What's cool is that I get to control his life, his personality, the decision he makes, and his relationship with others. Heehee~ I named my chara "Kieran Faris" after one of the charas in our manga (please visit ).

Throughout a year, you live a life of a normal teenage kid in the morning but at night precisely at midnight, you battle with dark beings known as shadows during a time called "The Dark Hour:" a hidden time between a day and the next. These shadows,from Tartarus (aka as the Tower of Demise. A labyrinth/tower which appears only during the dark hour.) prey on the minds of those people who aren't "transmogrified" into coffins leaving them lethargic/apathetic to the world around them. The only weapons capable of destroying these shadows are called "Personas." Only a select few who have the potential have the ability to summon personas which are mostly based on mythology. I like the way they're grouped into different classes or Arcana of the Tarot system. ^.^

The protagonist isn't alone. He (reluctantly. J/K) joins SEES (Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad), a group of highschool students from his school (Gekkoukan High)[though one of them is a an elem kid, a dog, and a robot. !!! SPOILER!!!] who each wield a persona but not you oh noes~ you're special so you get to control 100+. Hehe~

This is now Obssession Reason #1: The Persona Compendium
- I am currenttly at 84%. I forgot to check how many there are. Pfft!!! I have to get the 100% Persona Compendium!!! You can either obtain personas via shuffle (you are given cards at then end of the battle if you meet specific requirements) or fusion. When you fuse personas, you can combine personas to make a new one though some require an item... and your player level must be the same or higher of the persona you're trying to invoke. This leads to...

Obssession Reason # 2: Levelling-up
- At first its really hard to level up. This requires a large amount of patience and commitment to finish. I am at level 75 and I have been playing for 115 hrs and 21 minutes and have explored up to Floor 254. Its getting kinda boring so I mostly like the "dating part."

Obssession Reason #3: Social Links and Event scenes
- Personas strengths and fusion depends on your social links or relationships with different kinds of people. Each arcana has a social link with a total of ten levels each. If you manage to max their levels out, you establish an unbreakable bond with them. They give you an item (most of them) which enable you fusion of the ultimate persona of their arcana (if you're at a high enough level). This requires hanging out or dating and giving gifts (to the girls only). You can end up with either the popular girl, the rich and hot student council presindent, the shy and gentle electronics expert, the timid and nerdy student council treasurer, or the caring club manager. Its cool because they get mad at you if you ignore them, don't hang out for a long time, or date other girls just like in real life. ...Dun worry~ I gotz REEL LYF friends~ (J/K).

Obssession Reason #4: Orpheus Telos/Telos/Orpheus Kai/Orpheus red
- If you manage to get all the social links maxed in one playthrough, you can get a another version of the protagonist's starting persona (which I have yet to see). I have to see it... I wanna know how different it is from the original!

Obssession Reason #5: Eye candy
- This game has one of the best artworks I've ever see. Just look at the protagonist and Akihiko! *drools* Oh and I like Chidori, the gothic Loli girl!

Obsession Reason #6: Teh Muzik
- The songs are pretty cool and easy to listen to. The background musics are especially fitting to the scene.

Obssession Reason #7: The Story
- I saved my biggest reason for last. The story is awesome~! You get super human abilities and then save the world! (Imma sucker for stories like this!) It's also imbued with occult stuff like Tarot cards etc. which really caught my fancy and has the perfect mixture of reality and fantasy which is rare nowadays.

Hope I didn't spoil much about it because I want everyone to experience this game~ Well, I'll stop here for now. Imma gonna go to bed now for some well deserved sleep. Oh and btw, I found this: [link] by I'll use this someday to make a DA ID~ xD

Obssession Reason # 8: I'll make a fan chara!!!

Since I was bored I decided to do my project later, this is what I came up with. I don't have the time to browse all 188,126 results (at least not right now) so I'll be adding more later. X3 Off I go now to brush my teeth! *oralhygieneobssession*

- from [link]

"OHH, PLEEEASE?? It's just friendly curiosity and certainly not because I'm a psychotic serial killer who needs someone's true name in order to kill them..."- Yagami Light

- from [link]

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD?! stubborn bitch!!"- Yagami Light

"That was very rude Yagami-kun. No wonder I have more fans than you." - L/ Ryuzaki

"And stop standing so far away. It makes me look small on the page." - L/ Ryuzaki

- from [link]

"Lol, it's like a tissue box! " - L/ Ryuzaki

"AHAHAHAHA-!!! Yes! Yes, fear me you pathetic mortals! FEEEEAR!!! Now sacrifice your apples to Ryuk!!"- Ryuk

- from [link]

"Mommy? Can we give treats to the L?" - Random little girl

- from [link]

"Oh, forget it. Anyone with a name like that has suffered enough already." - Yagami Light

- from [link]

"I love halloween so much that, I have a tatoo of a pumpkin, but I can't tell you where..."- L/ Ryuzaki

- from [link]

"April 17- Light must be Kira. Today he bitch-slapped Misa and called her a whore. This sudden change over the weeks cannot be ignored. At this rate the handcuffs won't be coming off for a very, very~~~~ =spasm="- L/ Ryuzaki

"April 17 (later) Light is not Kira, hence I have removed the handcuffs PERMANENTLY. Signed, L" - L/Ryuzaki

Ah~ Summer! The season of skimpy bikinis and halo-halo to cool you off when it gets too hot... You're nothing but a distant memory now...*sob!*

[Rant=self-pity+laziness]

While I'm trying to do my assignment I decided to rant here instead for self-therphy...

Summer has always been my favorite time of the year (even if it gets insanely hot here sometimes >.> because it's the only time I could really do everything I wanted to do (ex. let my ass sleep on the couch and watch anime all day) but not anymore.

Uhh... The beach? Of course I go there when I have time (No matter how water snake infested the beach is *shivers*)~ but lately I haven't been able to and this is why:

As not many of you know, I'm in college. Incoming 3rd year actually. As luck would have it, I just had to enroll at the school wherein summer classes are mandatory. Hey, don't tell me the line the profs always say, "We didn't choose you, you chose us." Can it please. I was coerced to. Bleah. XP The only "vacation" time I'll get is a measely 1 week (and it's holy week, mind you). How do you expect me to do all the things I wanted to do for a year in just a week??? *SPLODE!*

Yes, I know I'm not a kid anymore and mom sez that summer is just for kids but...!!! I still want a break! You can't believe how stressful a nursing student's life can be. Everyday we have to put up with unbelievably severe profs and their inability to tell time and their lack of any form of concern for their students, speeding cars that will squish you like a pancake, weird looking people who look like they're snatchers or drug addicts or both, and mountains of assignments and research. If you make a mistake, you're dead meat. I'm not joking. I'd be dead right now if only my mother would let me. A poor girl can only take so much! T.T This is so unfair... Othere courses get vacations so why not us!?

Please don't tell me I only have 4 more semesters to go... Waaah... Being in that place wherein you battle for your pride, dignity, and self-worth as a human being, I just don't see any reason for staying. Minus the fact that a certain SOMEONE hates my guts and my mother wants me to finish there, I can't find anything fun anymore. Not my friends or classmates or the "prestige" of belonging to the "cream of the crop" matters anymore. I need to get out but shifting is not an option. It was instilled in me, "death rather than expulsion." Hey, at least when I die, I die as a student nurse not as a dropout. Horrible to be remembered for if you ask meh. T.T

*sighs* So I'll just stay here... in my little corner in the world... praying that I get into a coma so I can finally sleep at last. Heck~ If I'm lucky, I might dream of the deep blue sea with a vast azure sky~ *yawns and curls up into a ball* skimpy bikinis not included.

[/Rant]

As a friend once told me once, everyone in this world struggles to find his or her purpose in life. By finding that purpose, their lives finally have some meaning so that they can look back and say, "Hey, my life wasn't wasted after all!"

I've been thinking... Does this purpose choose us or is it the other way around? Not a single day goes by without me thinking of the answer to that.

My life is boring and empty. Day in and day out, it's the same. Since the day I was able to think, I allowed myself to be carried away by the will of other people thinking that it's the only thing to do. My parents' wishes especially. They've told me countless of times what I should or shouldn't do and for as long as I can remember, I didn't complain. My life is already dull and boring so why pursue something I that's not to their liking? I thought, "Maybe, by doing everything they want, I'd feel satisfied with myself because they're happy with me... that I might accomplish something." But I was wrong, up to now, I couldn't see the fulfillment they said I have achieved. Awards, praises, and their gifts didn't give me any joy at all. In the end, I'm still empty and wasted.

Another told me to find myself a dream that I would pursue. I've thought about it and tried my best to go forward even though I'm not sure what I wanted.

I moved on to what others wanted most in the world, love. In the books and magazines I've read, the many stories of people who have found meaning in loving another person gave me hope. As the stories said, they fulfilled their dreams with those people they loved. I tried but didn't feel satisfied with it. Sure, the feeling of bliss was nice because you have someone who loves you and you love that person in return. Deep down, I knew that the person I loved isn't the one who can give my dull existence meaning. Goodbyes were said promising to meet again even though we knew that we'll never see each other again. So I went back to who I was before him. I went back to doing the things I love.

There's aren't a lot of things that I love. I could count them using my fingers namely music, writing, and art.

I admit I don't believe in my capabilities on those three. My mother, who thinks only the best for her child, told me that they're all just "hobbies" that I picked up. They will never be of any use to me in the "real world" that I'm struggling to fit in to. Yet another crush to my poor, useless, soul.

Even though I said I have no faith in them, I couldn't just abandon them and completely be my mother's mindless doll. Those three, especially art, made me feel somewhat alive. I experienced genuine happiness whenever I drew. So I made up my mind, the purpose I was looking for was to draw. Draw every emotion I felt without minding what other people might say.

My decision was reached not by my own will. I'm actually a coward who can't make up her mind. I decided this thanks to a very special friend. I thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart.

Alone I know I can't do it but with you, I know that someday , with your help I can finally grasp my dream with these two hands that lay before me.

Thank you my friend, for giving me the courage to pursue what others might think is just a "hobby" even though it is actually my dream. I thank you my friend for never leaving me despite the times we've drifted apart. I thank you my friend for putting up with me because I know I can be so difficult sometimes even if we haven't fought each other yet (and I hope that day will never come). Thank you for showing me what I want to do. Thank you very much for giving my life meaning. Thank you, Ria.

Thus concludes my most meaningful journal entry. Thank you so much for reading it.